I’m Back… And a Proud Mommy!

It’s been a long time since I’ve written a post. A lot has happened in the 3+ years. I am happy to say I am now a proud mommy of a beautiful almost 8 month old baby girl! It took us 3 years, 2 miscarriages, 3 chemical pregnancies, a year of infertility appointments, tests, waiting, consults and then finally HELP. I had already figured out what the issue was [I had to have a ovary removed and ended up low on progesterone], but the doctor wouldn’t just write a Rx for what I knew I needed, I had to go through all the hoops, the tests – some painful, some horrible on the hormones – but even after all that, I’d do it all over again to have the same result!

Though, we are very blessed and grateful, the 3 years of ups and downs, pregnancies, losses, hormones and then an almost full term pregnancy [our baby girl decided she wanted out almost 6 weeks early!] and all the exhaustion and emotional “rollercoastering,” it took a toll on me and my body. I gained 15-20lbs before finally getting pregnant with her, and then gained another 40lbs while pregnant – most in the first trimester when I was exhausted and queasy and the only thing that made it go away was Twix bars. I kid you not. I was horrified, but when you feel that crappy 24/7, it’s easy to give in – and I did. UGH…

Needless to say, I have another uphill journey just to get back to my pre-pregnancy weight, which was 15-20lbs above my ideal weight… which I never did get to before all this began. So, from where I am today, I have another 52lbs to go to get to my goal weight based on my body fat percentage [BFP] right now and where I want it to be. For me, 22% BF means 170lbs. I have a high lean body mass I guess. That’s fine. I don’t really care what my weight actually is. I’m more concerned with health, longevity and having the best body I can have.

Back to the Future – Diet-Wise

Lots going the past 6 months. Still not pregnant, but we only started trying again 2 months ago. Fingers crossed, we’ll get lucky soon. I’m charting and doing my daily temps and feel like I learned a lot about my body and my cycle to the point where I had no idea just how ignorant I was until I read the book, “Taking Charge of Your Fertility.” I highly recommend it to women looking to get pregnant. Hopefully I’ll have a good news post soon. To be continued…

In the meantime, I’ve been experimenting with my diet, sticking mostly to eating primal, but still having cravings and issues with snacking. I happened to be on amazon last week looking for inspiration and found a book that piqued my interest – “Keto Clarity: Your Definitive Guide To the Benefits of a Low-Carb, High-Fat Diet.” by Jimmy Moore with Eric C. Westman, MD…

I did Atkins when I was around 15 years old and it was probably the only time in my memory I was at a healthy weight, didn’t suffer with hunger and cravings [and the insanity that comes with them], and I remember eating regular foods, just avoiding carbs and eating more fats and protein, veggies, nuts, etc. It was before there were all the Atkins bars and nasty low-carb prepared foods and snacks. I ate whole foods and looked and felt fantastic. I could muck stalls for hours in the morning and then ride 2-3 horses in the afternoon and not get dizzy or tired. I had constant energy and overall, I do remember feeling pretty even-keeled, despite that age being tumultuous for most girls around me.

I dropped the 20-30 extra pounds I had on my frame within a short time – maybe 2 months, but I didn’t even notice because weightloss was kind of a byproduct of eating that way and feeling great. But then the jealous types started making comments like, “You’re too skinny!” or “You can’t eat that way forever – it’ll ruin your kidneys!” or “You can’t get all the vitamins you need from eating so much meat – if you don’t stop, you’ll give yourself cancer!” and other scaremonger, ignorant comments like that. At 15 I was impressionable and most of those comments came from adults I respected at the time, so eventually they won in brainwashing me into thinking it wasn’t healthy and I should stop.

And low and behold, I struggled with my weight ever since. Thanks for that…

Moving On and Focusing on Health

Three weeks ago from yesterday I found out I had miscarried and life’s been a series of ups and downs since then – but I’m happy to say, that despite the circumstances – it’s been mostly UPs. This event has reinforced my belief that everything that happens to me is the best possible thing that could happen to me. And that attitude is everything. The news was shocking and sad and tough to deal with here and there, and I let myself grieve as I needed to, but there’s no rule saying you have to be devastated and miserable all the time.

I actually did so well that I had many people not believe me when they’d see me after finding out the news… they’d give me the side-eye waiting for me to crack or lose my mind. When I didn’t, some thought I was in denial. No… I just don’t believe you can’t be sad and happy at the same time. We’re more complex beings than that. I did go through a week where I got the impression from others’ reactions that my own emotional response to MY circumstances wasn’t appropriate somehow [not directly or on-purpose by anyone in particular], which was a really strange feeling. I just decided it wasn’t my problem if others felt worse about my situation than I did.

It Wasn’t Meant To Be…

I had started a post last week describing the ups and downs of the last 4 weeks of pregnancy, but decided to wait until my first prenatal appointment and held off on publishing. I’m not sure why… maybe it was instinct. I had my first appointment on Monday and they did a regular ultrasound which didn’t show anything because I have a retroverted [or ‘tipped’ backward] uterus, so they scheduled me to come in the following day to meet with the U/S tech to do an internal U/S.

Needless to say I was very excited to see the baby for the first time and see its little heart beating. What I wasn’t expecting was for the tech to tell me she couldn’t see a heartbeat. But she didn’t come out and say ‘sorry, you had a miscarriage,’ she just looked sad for me and told me she was going to have me talk to my doctor. I had no symptoms leading up to this, so this news was a total shock to me. Apparently the baby just stopped developing at 8 weeks – and the day of the U/S I was 8 weeks and 4 days – so it had just happened.

“The Little Ovary That Could”

The Proof!

In my last post I mentioned that I was looking forward to posting about ‘primal pregnancy’ and didn’t think it would happen this quickly! We found out on Friday that we’re expecting! My husband was actually shocked and said, “REALLY??!! I didn’t think it would happen this fast…” Especially since I had an ovary removed earlier this year… and I’m 39. September was the first month we put a real effort into ‘trying’, too… We’re both really excited. After the initial shock wore off for my dear hubby, he came over, laughed and said, “It’s the little ovary that could, huh?” I can’t stop laughing every time I think about it.

I’m technically in my 5th week now, and so far, other than sore breasts and feeling a little tired, I haven’t had any nausea yet. I’m hoping it’ll stay that way, but it’s too soon to tell. I have had weird little things happen that tipped me off so by the time I got home last Friday, I was like a wild animal ripping open the box from amazon containing the at-home tests I’d ordered. When I saw the result, I couldn’t stop laughing and thinking, “I KNEW I wasn’t crazy!!!” It took a lot of control to NOT call my husband at work. I waited until he got home to show him the stick – and it took him a while to figure out what he was looking at. It was pretty funny.

So far, no weird cravings either – except that I can’t seem to get enough spicy food and beef jerky. Go figure. But I found a really great grass-fed, all natural one at Whole Foods, and Trader Joe’s has all-natural beef jerky as well. I’ve also tried their buffalo, and by accident, turkey jerky. Which makes me laugh every time I say it. I have to admit, it wasn’t as bad as I’d have expected, but I prefer beef.

I have noticed that my digestion has changed and food sits in my stomach a lot longer [which is natural and happens throughout pregnancy], so I’ve had to consciously make sure to eat smaller portions so I don’t get heartburn. Before this I’d probably had heartburn 2 or 3 times in my LIFE – I’ve always had an iron stomach, so to have it 3 times in the last week was a shocker for me and made it easy to modify my behavior. I’d rather graze all day on smaller portions of primal-friendly food than feel like THAT. Blech…

So now I’m just focused on eating well and getting enough rest. I’ve never been a napper, but afternoon naps are happening more frequently. Other than that, there isn’t much else I can do. My first doctor’s appointment isn’t until November 4th, so for now it’s a waiting game. Other than having to pee all the time and having sore boobs, I don’t feel that pregnant. I know that’ll change soon enough…

Primal Thoughts

Primal Breakfast

This has been one of those years where life throws curveballs left and right, but somehow I’ve managed to get back on course each time. Whether it’s surgery with a painful month wait and then another painful month of recovery, or a month-long battle with the flu [probably thanks to all the antibiotics I was on before and after surgery], or family issues causing extra stress, 2013 has been a bitch. But it’s also been great. I’ve learned a lot about myself – like: I still have a knee-jerk need for comfort food when I’m in pain… Not working out for 4+ months makes me feel old and horrible… I really can rebound from just about anything.

I’m happy to report that I have my dad gung-ho on the Primal diet and he’s lost close to 40lbs in the last 3 months. I feel like every time I see him, he’s smaller. He’s inspired ME to get back at it 100%, and I have. For me, the scale doesn’t move so easily, but my clothes are not only fitting better but some bottoms are getting loose, which hasn’t happened in a while. I’m back to a regular exercise routine that I really enjoy and am getting stronger each week. I’m done with ‘chronic cardio’ and tough resistance workouts every other day. Here’s my current routine that is really working for me:

• I walk 3 miles at lunch with a coworker 5 days a week
• I ‘lift heavy things’ [LHT] twice a week – usually Sundays and then Wednesdays or Thursdays depending on my schedule
• I go on an extended 2 hour hike once or twice a week
• I do sprints on one of those hikes each week

I wear a Jawbone UP band [which I will post about separately because it’s worth it – I LOVE it!] that tracks my activity and sleep, and today it told me I’m in the top 10% of UP band users for activity level – and yet I don’t feel like I’m killing myself like I used to. I have more energy and feel stronger now than when I was doing ‘Turbo Fire’ or ‘Insanity’ cardio and lifting heavy 3x/wk.

Primal Observations: Sleep, Bug Bites & Allergies

It’s been about six weeks since I switched to Mark Sisson’s ‘Primal Blueprint‘ lifestyle and I’m starting to notice some interesting ‘coincidences’ – except that I don’t believe in coincidences.

First, I started to sit in the sun for an hour or so after work, weather permitting [this IS New England…], and I’ve noticed that on the days I get some sun, no matter whether I exercised or not, I sleep like a baby that night. I fall asleep quickly – and more importantly to me – I STAY asleep the entire night and wake up feeling refreshed. I don’t know if I’ve every written about it here, but normally I don’t fall asleep right away and I wake up many times throughout the night and generally get out of bed feeling exhausted, so this is a big deal to me. I don’t know if it’s because I have a vitamin D deficiency that getting some low-level sun after 4:45pm helps to restore, or if it’s allowing myself to relax and do nothing for an hour while being outdoors [though, I tend to read MDA or listen to talk radio while I’m out there, which sometimes isn’t relaxing, but I still sleep great regardless…]? I don’t really know, but I also don’t care. If it’s sunny out and warm enough for me to expose my legs and back to the sun for a while, I’ll be out there. I do cover my face, since I read that the skin on your face doesn’t produce much vitamin D, so why accelerate the aging process there? lol…

Recipe: Fast & Hearty Tomato Bisque

I made this last night on a whim because I really wanted some good tomato soup, and anything from a can is most certainly NOT Primal-friendly with the added sugar/chemicals/preservatives/excessive sodium… etc. I’ve made really great homemade tomato soups in the past that required a lot of time to roast whole canned tomatoes to get that rich flavor, but it dawned on me yesterday… why not just add all-natural, organic sun-dried tomatoes packed in fresh olive oil instead: It worked like a charm. Sun-dried tomatoes combined with onions, garlic red pepper flakes, sea salt, organic tomato paste and a can of diced tomatoes… sautéed, simmered and puréed together at the end and finished with a blop of full-fat whipping cream [optional] was TO. DIE. FOR.

Here’s how I did it. This recipe makes one very large serving that is a meal in and of itself, or you can split it into two smaller servings to accompany a salad. Multiply it by how many servings you’d like to make…

Note: Athletic Build BMI Calculator

Almost 5 years ago I posted about an  Athletic Build BMI Calculator I found online and to this day it gets THE MOST hits on this blog… I also get a lot of comments on that post and felt like I should give an update. While I agree, that if you are more athletic and carry more lean muscle mass than the average person, and want a unit of measurement to judge yourself by, using a different BMI calculator may be helpful.

For me, now… 5 years later… I don’t remember the last time I thought about my BMI because I’m in a different place. When I was just starting out with my weightloss journey and had a good 100 lbs to lose ANY form of measurement where I could map some positive change was a great thing for my morale and motivation. And because I had been overweight for so long, I truly had no idea what my ideal/healthy weight should be, so I turned to tools like BMI calculators and realized that even at my fittest/thinnest in high school, I didn’t fit within the ‘healthy’ range on your average BMI scale, so I went in search of something else that would give me a more realistic goal to shoot for.

Primal Brunch Feast

Before going Primal, my favorite breakfast in the whole world was a simple throwback to my childhood – 2 eggs over easy on rye toast with bacon and lots of butter on my toast. Now, most of that is a-okay after going Primal… minus the toast. So what’s a girl to do? Easy. Find something else even more delicious to lay those yummy eggs on, to sop up that gooey, bright orange yokey goodness. My solution? Sautéed zucchini.

Here’s everything I used and how I used it to make my delicious breakfast, pictured here… [A quick note about dairy: Dairy is off limits for strict ‘paleo’ followers. I, on the other hand, have no problems with digesting dairy and use it in moderation – and when I do, I try to stick to full-fat, and fermented if possible].

Okay – here’s the scoop…