Thoughts 11.27.10

Life has been so hectic since my last post. I managed to find a new job within 4 weeks of being laid off back in May, and started the end of June… and life’s been a whirlwind since. The new job has been challenging to the point where I wasn’t sure I could hack it  - for pretty much the first 2-3 months. I still have really bad days, but they don’t outnumber the good days anymore, which is good. I’ve kept up my exercise, but eating has been a challenge. For the first time in my 16-year career I have more days where I just don’t have time to eat ANYTHING for most of the day, which is nuts. And then I come home so hungry and end up snacking. It’s been a bit discouraging. I’m happy to say I haven’t gained weight – in fact, I’ve lost a few more lbs, so it feels good to know that even when I’m under insane stress, I can maintain my weightloss.

But now I’m at the point where I’m tired of maintaining and want to continue with weight LOSS… I’m 191 now and I’m a size 10/12 and want to still lose another 30-35 lbs… now that work isn’t quite so bad, I feel ready to pick myself up and keep going. I got Chalene Johnson’s new Turbo Fire program and I LOVE it. It’s a great high intensity interval training/cardio program that mixes in well with my resistance training and boxing. And I’m in the process of researching treadmills because I want to start running. Even though I haven’t lost much in the past few months, my body is still changing – parts are tightening up and becoming more toned, so overall I still feel really good about my progress even if it doesn’t show on the scale.

I know I need to eat more protein and veggies and less starch and salty foods. When I’m stressed I always go for the salty snacks like chips, which is terrible. Or chocolate. Or bread. All the things that I easily become ‘addicted’ to… It actually took me this long [5 months???] to finally accept that my old job is gone, I’m not going to get it back, and this job pays my bills and even though I’ll never love it like my last job, it’s getting better, so I can finally put more energy back into my nutrition. I’ve also had to change my schedule so I now leave for work at 6:15am – my last job I’d leave for work at 9:15. I’m a night owl, so it’s been really tough accepting the new schedule because my husband’s schedule is closer to my old one and we don’t get a lot of time together after work during the week. He gets home an hour or so before I should be going to bed… so I end up staying up too late and when I’m exhausted I don’t make the best food decisions. It’s time to put myself and my body first again and focus on QUALITY time, not just quantity. Once my bills are paid off [11 more payments!], my options open up. We can start a family and I can freelance part time and stay home, but until the bills are totally paid off, this is my life. lol…

Time will pass whether I continue this journey or not – I may as well continue and lose the rest of this weight once and for all!

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