Thoughts of an Insomniac… at 4:20 am.

I’ve had bouts of insomnia here and there my whole life. Tonight being the latest. I went to bed around 1 am… but never fell asleep, so I decided to get up a few minutes ago rather than keep lying there, staring at the ceiling. I know why I get insomnia now… it boils down to one simple word: sugar. 

It’s the holidays… I was sick last week with a wicked head cold [I wanted to die last Thursday - the congestion was so bad, my cheekbones, jaw... even my TEETH hurt]. So I hadn’t worked out for a good 8 days in a row and didn’t have much of an appetite for anything except soup and ‘cheesie poofs’… [or the 'all natural' cheetos]. I’m better now, but not back in the swing of things yet. I fully intend to clean out the fridge of all the leftovers and spoiled food that didn’t get cooked or eaten because I was sick, go shopping for fresh food and start my healthier eating plan tomorrow, after working out in the morning. Well… being awake at 3:43 am means there won’t be a ‘morning’ tomorrow [or today...] and I’m getting more and more angry by the minute. 

Why am I awake and what’s it got to do with sugar? Well… I’ve been eating less than ideally this past week and finally felt better by Christmas Day, just in time to eat all the carb and fat-laden foods [all delicious, of course] that were served that day… and we were sent home with the equivalent of a whole cake [2 halves of 2 different cakes]. I haven’t eaten any of it – both on the day or since – but I haven’t exactly eaten healthy either… and I think it’s the popcorn that did me in today. I got my husband one of those giant TUBS of popcorn with the 4 flavors in it and of course the largest of the 4 section is caramel popcorn – my favorite – and I ate a LOT of it tonight as we watched a couple of movies and didn’t really have dinner… so I’m sure my sugar spiked, the insulin rushed, my sugar crashed, the adrenaline kicked in and here I am starving, shaking, and wide awake. 

This only reaffirms the fact that I can’t live like this anymore. My body won’t stand for it and this is it’s way of telling me that. I just ate some cheese in hopes that the fat and protein would be a one-two punch – just enough to stop the hunger signals, and initiate a bit of nerve calming. I think I’d be better off eating turkey or tuna… but do I want to go make tuna salad now at 3:49 am??? I suppose if it means getting to sleep by 4:30 instead of 6 am it’s worth the 5 minutes of effort… 

I’m fed up, though… time for a change. No more excuses or talking about it. I was actually inspired by Jason Statham of all people. We watched Death Race on DVD yesterday [or, the day before yesterday technically...], and in the special features he talked about what he had to do to get into the shape he was in for the movie [and stay in shape during filming]. They showed him scoffing down a plate of raw radishes, cauliflower florets and other veggies while talking about how his ‘indulgence’ for the past several months was eating broiled turkey… along with buckets of raw veggies. The look on his face was precious… he looked like he was eating something completely vile as he forced down the veggies and complained about how tasteless his diet has been, and how he couldn’t wait for a beer and a piece of cake. lol… But it was worth it – he looked absolutely amazing. Not that I feel the need to go to those extremes, but it reminded me that anything is possible if you put your mind to it.  =)

I can eat more veggies and fruit… more lean protein… and not give up flavor and pleasure. And I can indulge here and there – just enjoy less when I really crave something vs. going nuts and undoing days worth of work in an hour over something like ‘cheesie poofs.’ 

Up until tonight I was enjoying more sleep each night and am just mentally ready to put more effort and energy into revamping my eating habits. And maybe never having insomnia ever again… 

Photo Credit: Still from video posted on youtube.com by ArtisanNewsService.

Sleep Cycle: Repaired?

I am proud to say I’ve managed to get 7-8 hours of sleep the past 4 nights. I’ve gone to bed between 10 and 11pm and have woken up at 6am every day except Tuesday – my WFH day [work from home]. That day I got up at 7:00, but still did my normal routine including working out, showering, etc. This morning I woke up 5 minutes before my alarm, on my own! That hasn’t happened in years. When I was younger, it happened every day. I didn’t require as much sleep, though… 

It’ll be interesting to see if this continues or if this morning was a fluke because I had to go to the bathroom or I was hot, etc. I do sleep much better now that I wear earplugs to bed. I never considered myself a light sleeper, but without them I was waking up several times a night and feeling like I was hit by a truck in the morning instead of refreshed as I’ve heard you’re supposed to feel after a good night’s rest… 

It’ll also be interesting to see if my hunger slows down. I did notice that at both lunch and dinner yesterday, I stopped eating pretty easily when I was full. Where normally I just finish what’s on my plate. It was a feeling of ‘I can’t possibly finish that’… which hasn’t happened in a long time. Not sure if that was a fluke or if I’m producing more leptin or less ghrelin due to getting more sleep. I hope it was the latter. That would be SWEET. lol… If it’s that easy to stop eating because I got enough sleep, I’ll be getting enough sleep the rest of my life. Done deal. I will be an official reformed night owl. If lack of sleep is what was causing me to NOT lose weight despite working out 6 days a week and eating relatively healthy most of the time, then I’m hoping to see some real changes, physically, over the next few weeks. I’ll keep you posted… 

Sweet Dreams.  ;)

One Thing At A Time

Somehow, I managed to NOT get sucked in by the TV last night. I got ready for bed before 10pm and allowed myself to read for a while until I was ready to go to sleep, which was around 10:45. Not 1:00 or 2:00… It wasn’t so bad. lol… I keep bitching about wanting to eat better and lose weight, but I’ve been reading more about the body and all the different hormones, chemicals, neurotransmitters, etc., that are involved in everything we do and feel and it became obvious that if I don’t correct my sleep cycle and start getting proper rest, that making healthy food choices will always be a battle. 

So, first order of business – 7 – 8 hours of sleep per night. 

I’ve also been reading about how having a proper wake-up routine can set the tone for the day, and that the first thing one should do is flood the ocular nerves with very bright light – sunlight is best, but if it’s winter in New England and you wake up at 6am, there isn’t any to be had. Luckily my bathroom lights are like the devil, they’re so bright… and I just turned on every other light on my way to the dining room, where I am now, drinking some water and allowing myself to ‘dawdle’ for a few minutes before launching into my workout. Apparently, flooding your eyes with light sets a whole string of things in motion in the brain to boost energy levels. If you start off in dim light, you won’t get this vital flood of energy and it will set the tone for your energy level for the rest of the day.

Okay – so bright light ASAP – CHECK. 

Allowing myself to dawdle for a few minutes as my brain and body wake up – CHECK.

Physical activity within 30 minutes of waking – CHECK

The last item on the list of a proper wake-up is eating breakfast. Luckily, that’s one thing that I’m good at. Ever since I was little, I’ve woken up FAMISHED and have to eat. I can’t skip breakfast. The few times I’ve tried, or did out of time constraints [aka - waking up late], I’ve felt horrible and was a lot hungrier the rest of the day… so no problem. Breakfast before I leave for work: CHECK.

I recently got into a cleaning routine – the first time since my adult life, and I actually enjoy it. My husband is psyched – only took 14 years. lol… I’d clean when I felt I had to [like when a dust bunny was staring me down or if people were coming over], but I never had a routine. So having one on Saturdays and cleaning the whole house is a big deal for me. It’s a habit now after doing it 4 or 5 weeks in a row. I look forward to it and I’ve been enjoying a much cleaner, tidier house. I’m realizing that making changes aren’t so bad as long as I don’t try to make too many at once. Now that I have the cleaning thing down, it’s time to get the sleep thing taken care of. When going to bed by 10:00 becomes a habit I can’t live without… THEN I’ll start focusing more on food, portion sizes, eating slower, chewing better, choosing healthier foods, etc.

One thing at a time.  =)