I’m reading a book on change and in the first chapter it had me thinking. It asked to think of a change you want to make and write out your beliefs as they come to you, no matter how negative. My change is wanting to lose weight. Here are a few of the old beliefs that popped into my head:
- It’s a life-long, losing struggle
- It requires a lot of time and energy
- It’s expensive [fresh food can be expensive]
- People won’t like me if I’m thin
- My body betrayed me
- People who are always ‘good’ are boring
- I’ll turn into a conceited bitch
As I was writing them out I realized most of them – if not ALL are so outdated and I don’t believe them anymore, but they’re obviously still swirling around in the background for them to come to the surface so quickly and easily. I’ve been trying to lose weight carrying around all these old, negative beliefs like a ton of bricks! No wonder I never got anywhere…
“You cannot solve a problem with the same mind that created it.”
– Albert Einstein
Ain’t that the truth! lol…
So… okay – my belief system is an old beast that needs to be shot so I can get a new set of warm fuzzy beliefs about weightloss. Here are a few I’m trying on for size:
- Losing weight is easy
- Eating healthy is an opportunity for creativity
- My body deserves healthy food
- I love who I am no matter what the scale says
- I won’t change as a person even if I get down to a size 8, and my friends and family will be happy for me!
- The price of fresh, healthy food is small compared to the benefits of health and longevity I’ll achieve
- I didn’t have any good role models growing up, and didn’t how the foods I was eating were affecting my body… rapid weight gain in my mid to late 20s was due to being insulin resistant, not because I was a glutton… and now I know and understand my body so much better so it will never happen again!
I also think there’s something to be said about identity. I’ve either been overweight or struggled with body image for the past 25 years or so. It’s got to be a ‘part’ of me in some way – I identify with that ’struggle’… so maybe not having that as part of my subconscious life is just foreign to me… who knows. I also know that I’ve never accepted my current size either. When I dream, I’m thin as I was back in highschool… so there must be some sort of self esteem issue back there. I’ve come a LONG way over the years. I used to be a scared, sad wall-flower of a girl who had no hope and envied everyone around me. I can’t imagine being that way again. It feels like another lifetime! Losing weight is really the last big issue I want to change for myself – not for anyone else. I know I’m ready. I know I’m not afraid of being thin like I was as a kid. I should say ‘fit’ vs. ‘thin’ – it’s all relative. Thin on me is 170 lbs. It’s thin for me, but I’m not talking super-model aspirations. I prefer being solid and strong. I think of a tiger – that strength and beauty vs. something like a giraffe. lol…
Anyway, so far so good. I’m enjoying this book, and how it’s opening my mind, making me aware of what’s already IN my mind, good or bad. I haven’t gotten through enough of it to feel okay about recommending it yet, but here’s a link if you’re interested in checking it out: The First 30 Days…
Every time I’ve dieted, I’ve failed. I’ve mentioned that before. It wasn’t for lack of trying, but I think growing up with an obese mother who constantly told me ‘we were built to pull the plows!’ hee hee hee… and my best friends mother telling me I was ‘chunky’ compared to her twig of a daughter, having overly critical grandparents who watched every bit of food I put in my mouth and made me ‘work’ for my meals by playing tennis for a certain number of hours, followed by a certain number of laps in the pool… even my dad telling me when I should and shouldn’t have seconds or have dessert. It all ended up in the junkpile of my subconscious. I know a lot of the beliefs I have aren’t even MINE! That’s the frustrating part. It’s like I have a tape recorder filled with everyone else’s beliefs about ME in my head. Now I need to erase them and start again I guess. I thought that changing how I feel about myself was enough but I guess not. Now I have beliefs I don’t agree with but there still in there. lol… why do we humans have to be so complicated? ;)
So… now I’m working on evicting all these beliefs that don’t help me reach my goals. I’m getting there. I’m ready for change – I CAN change and I’m doing it. And I’m enjoying the journey now. =)
